Retail Media Humor and BS Bingo (*)

It is time for some food for thought over the Easter weekend. Whether you celebrate Easter as the pagan festival, the egg sale bonanza, the christian celebration, any of the above or not at all you may appreciate the following bits an pieces. OK so these aren’t just retail media howlers but they are objects of fun nonetheless:

‘The rulebook has been torn up’ – often used to when arguing that traditional media is dead. In the US, 25% of advertising monies were spent on some form of TV in 1990; in 2006 it was…25%.

‘Media-savvy consumers…’ – to suggest that consumers don’t view advertising like they used to. Really? {Ed: yes really, in the good old days they would view advertising through new-fangled spectacles now they use "shade" and Glasses"}

‘Marketing campaigns need to be synergistic at all touch-points so they are relevant to their target audiences.’ –how many clichés can you get in one sentence? Does this mean put the same ad everywhere? Or the same brand promise? Or the same brand even?

‘Brand should have conversations with their consumers’ – I’ve been talking to this pack of Tide for 25 minutes and it still hasn’t said a word.

‘Original buzz’ – seen recently in an article. What would unoriginal buzz be?

‘e’ – still used as a prefix e.g. e-marketers. Are they really electronic? Do their batteries ever wear down? Should we prefix all marketers? TV-marketers, DM-marketers, ambient –marketers, bog-off-marketers…

‘Contextual based’ – just seen this written in a sentence that included contextual-marketers. Often used by media agencies to justify buying one media platform over another…it has better context for the brand.

‘marketing funnel’ – as consumers are herded like sheep into the slippery inescapable funnel of brand purchase.

These lead nicely into the game of BS Bingo (*) which is played as follows:

Players each take a selection of the terms above, supplement them from the list below and create a 5x5 grid. At a presentation or a large meeting you cross off each term as it is said. The first person to have a line of 5 or five strikes in a single box wins if they can find a way of getting the word bingo into a sentence that does not get them fired.

(*) That is Brand Statement Bingo. No honestly it is!

More terms to include:
Starter for 10
Optioning
Win for all stakeholders
One stop shop
Soup to nuts
Solids {Ed: ???}
Call out
Going forward
Win-win situation
Big bet
We are where we are
Virtual team
Appetite for
Stakeholder buy in
The "as is" vs the "to be"
Here's my take on it
Alignment
Net-net {Ed: I am assured by people in finance that this means something, but so far none of them have been able to explain what}
Ducks in a row
Strawman
Point
Up to speed
Pre-booked/pre-recorded/pre-registered {Ed: well post booking has always been my habit}
Who't got the A?
Move the goal posts
Why wouldn't you/they?
Same page/same hymn sheet
Does it make the car go faster?
Forward planning {Ed: That reverse planning is really tricky stuff}
Move with pace
Touchpoints
Quantage
Unilaterally
In a silo
Does it wash it's face?
Stepping stones/steps on the way/milestones
I've got a concern
Natural Team Work
Functionality
Locked and loaded
We need to sit down
Take it offline
Move the dial
Close of play {Ed:Does this mean they are talking about playing BS Bingo or is work really play?}

There is another term hidden in some of the initial letters if you look closely enough. First to put a comment correctly identifying it is wins a round of applause. And finally if anyone can suggest a change of order for the list that shows an amusing sentence we will be more than happy to re-order it and credit them.

These have been gathered from a variety of sources, but special credit should go to Joel Hopwood who is a connoisseur of such things and was able to provide the initial list.